|
Hi. My name is Cindy. I
want to ask you if you believe there is such a thing as platonic
relationships or do you believe all of these have a subtle hint of sexual
innuendo attached? I have this strange thing going on with a fellow
co-worker although both of us are involved at this time. I will read your
page to find the answer to this question.
Dear Cindy,
Why yes, of course there are platonic relationships...it is a very real
human capacity. People of all ages and sexes are also very sexual (sensual),
responding to smell (unconsciously), to touch (your clothes, the wind on
your face, etc.), and to taste (the spices in your lunch). Sensual responses
make up the very fabric of our existence...add a little gender juice and you
have what everyone calls sexual but really deep down, life is fundamentally
sensual. The two are very closely interconnected. To say that someone is
only existing in one capacity at a time is odd. Say, platonic...people are
sensuous and there is no getting around it.
There is yet another capacity: honesty. Usually when someone defines an
interaction or relationship as platonic they are trying to communicate
something else. If they are honest they may be communicating: "I
recognize that there is juice between us but I choose not to act on it and
desire to focus our relationship on other things."
Most often, however, the use of the platonic definition is a way of
hiding your or his real intention, either from yourself or the other person,
which is a way to participate in the juice...maybe. Not wholly, but
partially, as in "flirting". This may be harmless but is
essentially dishonest and will lead to problems down the road.
You intuitively recognize some dishonesty or you would not have had the
question. It may be innocent, but be careful. Many relationships hide under
the protection of "platonic" to avoid dealing with other
commitments while creating a level of intimacy that could likely express
itself sexually...eventually. People who lack intimacy in their current
relationship will often seek it out elsewhere.
Remember that there is always more going on than what is on the surface.
Listen to the subtext.
Good relationships aren't accidents.
Yours truly,
The Dishwasher
Suggested reading:
"The
Magus"
More Dishwasher Essays | 
