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Dear Dishwasher,
I have never felt that I belong to this world in which we live. I never
connected or felt as if I have a purpose. I feel a great pull to the
dark side. I am in therapy and take medications but so far it hasn't
helped me. The after world is calling and I don't know what to do.
Suicide would hurt others. So I guess my question is, How can I find
peace and purpose?
Thank you
Sophia P
Dearest P
I look to the East for many of these answers because they have a longer
and richer history of this kind of exploration.
Quit thinking in terms of linear time as in "the
after" is the death that comes when life ends...You're mixing physical
time with spiritual words. The so called "after" that you speak of is
part of a spiritual equation that takes place while you're physically
alive. Christ said "die unto self"…which means a spiritual death or a
letting go.
The only way to truly "let go" of yourself (and this
is the one true version of death) you have to do it in life or you'll be
living the same nightmare in death. Let go means dropping your opinions
about what you think purpose in life means or should be or feel like.
This is pride. Let go of your theories about "the other side" and when
you do... your mind will rest and real imagination will bubble up to the
surface. The answers come to you from deep within...but you haven't
cleared any space for them....Let go of all cosmologies, religions,
theories, desires for this or that purpose in life....sit and wait.
You will not find purpose if you continue to focus on
yourself as the center of the universe …
Do a simple act for someone else.....one day at a
time and see what happens. This is the meaning of "the other side" that
exists in this life. Wake up first and then you'll be ready to die. Be
humble, get on your knees, weep for someone else.
My dearest. You're welcome to write back. These
concepts don't like words very well.
Yours,
The Dishwasher
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