Im Having Sex with my Sister

from the Dishwasher Archives

Dear dishwasher,
Is it right? I really think my sister is very attractive, were both in our early 20's I touch her and she does it to me sometimes. Like, is this normal? Or What?

Dearest Normal,
Sexual feelings are normal, in all the unusual surprising and "not normal" ways they get expressed, especially during those years before a good relationship takes over. It's not the physical acts themselves that cause trouble, but the psychological soup that stirs itself into a mess you have to worry about. You have to above all concern yourself with HER feelings and protect her from the disasters in her mind that would prevent her from a healthy normal marriage. Brothers protect sisters. Raw sex is not about love and there's nothing inherently wrong about sex. You must stir the compassionate soup in your heart and think first of the well being and love of your sister. It's important that your sex play not grow into having sex because you would be navigating a very difficult path that would threaten not only your future good relationship with your sister, but yours and hers future relationships in marriage. In short, it gets very complicated very quickly and most often creates psychological knots that take years to undo.

So, your question: Is it right? means morally right, which is a short cut to getting instructions...the cultural quick guide for dummies...Morality develops in culture to help people avoid disasters either psychological or physical like stop signs on the street. The more sophisticated look at whats right asks different questions: Is this love? How do I protect the ones I love? How does she feel? How do I protect her from doing something dumb? Your relationship with your sister could become a rich and rewarding part of your adult life that you will cherish and depend on all thru life. Don't mess it up! Move on.

The Dishwasher

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