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Dear Dishwasher
I have been in love with a man for almost 3 years but for one reason or
another we’ve been unable to tie the knot because he said he couldn’t
commit. This last year I’ve met a second man whom I like a lot and
really enjoy his company and was beginning to fall in love…I also
believe he will be a good father to my kids (I’m 45 with two kids from a
previous Marriage) He’s very stable and has asked me to marry him. I’ve
dragged my feet with doubt and then like destiny the first love comes
back in the picture ready for commitment. I’m torn to pieces Which man
do I marry. Man 1 or Man2. How do I find out?
HELP undecided.
Dearest undecided, I think
you might engage a physicist to answer these questions, One specializing
in theories of probability. What you have described are two possible
outcomes in the future and you're confused as to which to live. In fact
according to some theorists you may be living both lives now at the same
time, one being more like a dream to the other life which is temporarily
hidden from you. Imagine what if you only met one of these men and you
proceeded forward into marriage not knowing you had in fact another
possibility. You would live your life in joy and suffering in various
ways with a distinct footprint on humanity as we all do. It would be
unique. To judge it against other possibilities that
could have been is a philosophical game you can play to nurture any
number of neurotic feelings...guilt ( what if I could have) the victim,
if only he had or I had... are the two most popular.
Just because life and the good lord are showing you two possibilities in
life side by side instead of in sequence don't succumb to mental folly
chasing guilt or irresponsibility. Hold your nose,
leap into one life and have no regrets! Either one
will be right because you'll make them your life, get out of the boat
and plop a flag on the new territory --discover America all over again ,
only now you could have been an Indian just arrived in Italy.
Or, consider having a duel. Yours,
The Dishwasher More Dishwasher Essays | 
