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George wrote:
I am a 33-year-old male, happily married, 3 kids, great house,
great job, two great cars, but it seems I am not happy. What should I do?
Not Happy.
Dear Not Happy,
It is the disease of modern man!!! It is!! It is!!
Robbed of the present moment living in constant subtle anticipation. You know, our
perceptions get molded by calendars, semesters, retirements, daily planners, all
the props that shape our mind muscles into future thinking: I'll be happy when we
get there...later...when I graduate...then...when I retire...next week.... we’re
making progress...later the weekend on Saturday I'll be happy...later...not now.
You know, the notion of progress itself is a recent one (all those concepts just
mentioned rolled into one). The Progress myth (script) tells us how to perceive
all of our activities; we all work together in a mutual participation of future
preparation. Mankind is making progress. We're going somewhere.... The future is
our destiny...the present moment is somehow inadequate, less important.... So it
goes that the present moment becomes empty, a void that leaves most people with
a permanent bewilderment...is this it? Is this life that I'm living? Is this really
it? On and on…Gosh I'm so busy ...how time flies, etc.
So, there's nothing wrong with material things...your family
or kids...houses and cars are great. There may be something wrong with how you spend
your time in your mind, or better, how your mind spends its time in time...perception
can be different from one person to another...as different from night and day.
Everyone could use a remedy for this malady because we all live
in a modern life where our perception is shaped by common notions about time. The
present is empty, the future is full. Where am I? In the present, obviously, but
it's empty. Therefore, I'm empty...
This is relatively common knowledge among the academics and observers
of culture, but rarely does anyone ever do anything about it personally.
Some people speed up when confronted with this existential yearning...as
in, if I run faster, then I'll fill this empty space of the moment with life and
I'll be happy then. They are the businessmen. Those guys sometimes hit the brick
wall...and that's their teacher. Some folks change their material surroundings...they
diversify to distract themselves from the empty present...they are more artistic.
New house, new car, new wife.
What will you do?
You could slow down (not activities, necessarily). Let the present
fill up...search Shambhala meditation in your area...do it as an experiment just
for fun. Believe me, there is nothing more comical than someone intensely trying
their hardest to......relax.
Another powerful way to change perception is to alter your mind
chemistry.....Yep! Take drugs...or let your body produce these drugs (neurotransmitters,
inhibitors, etc.) that may be lacking in your own system for a variety of reasons.
But forget Prozac! This can most easily be done by oxygenation of your blood through
exercise. See, your grandmother was right...go work out like your life depended
on it. Observe your feelings, keep a journal and see what happens.
What ever you do, it has to be done for 3-4 months to have any
value.
The habits of the mind are tenacious.
In all of this a new notion arises...perception and experience of Time is
not fixed, but something you can alter...alter it. And there's a prize in the Cracker
Jacks at the bottom of the box...the reward you get is not the end result of the
thing that you do.
Try a utopian fantasy entitled "Islandia"
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